Haiti: What You Need to Know (Part 4)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Haiti and Driving: No place in the world compares to Haiti when it comes to driving. I realize I haven't been everywhere, but I have been to a few third world countries and Jose has been to a fair number as well. The other Americans we spoke with have been to even more. Everyone agreed Haiti was unmatched. I can't imagine how it could possibly be any worse.

The first rule of driving in Haiti is there are no rules. Do you think there is too much traffic on your side of the road? Drive on the other side. Why bother going the long way around a traffic circle? If you think it is shorter, drive straight into oncoming traffic and right over the center island, even if there is a cop standing there, directing traffic. At one point while we were driving, cars pulled to the side to let an ambulance through. The driver of the truck we were in saw the chance and crossed over to drive head on towards the ambulance. Never mind the fact that we were almost bumper-to-bumper. Never mind that there was no place for either of us to pull out of the way, so we both just sat there, face-to-face with the ambulance till traffic moved a little bit and our driver could pull back in to the lineup, proud of having cut ahead a few cars.

Cars running over people’s gear because it was shorter then backing up and going around? Saw it.

Truck running over a girl’s foot who was walking next to the road? Saw it, and Jose treated the girl. The truck kept going.

A little car cutting in between a convey of Humvees that have soldiers with machine guns sticking out every opening? Sure! Why not?

Cars are considered undriveable in Haiti if the horn doesn't work. The horn is used for everything. In fact, the only thing it doesn’t seem to be used for is actually signaling the way it is supposed to. Do you see someone you know? Horn.

See someone who owes you money? Horn, then throw the car into park, jump out (leaving your car blocking traffic) and try and get the money.

Don't like the fact that traffic is stopped? Horn, even if every car ahead of you as far as the eye can see is at a dead standstill.

Want a pretty girl to look at you? Stop in the middle of the road and hold down your horn. The odds are that the cars stuck behind you will add their own horns to the mix, which will certainly get her to look!

There were next to no stop lights in Haiti. When we finally managed to see one that was actually running because of a generator, the driver stopped because it was green. I learned not to watch as it was too stressful. I would just talk to whoever I was or do my best to sightsee.

There are no new cars in Haiti. In fact, before cars are allowed on the island they are required to have dents or get a door painted a random color. I wasn't told this, but I am pretty sure this is true based on what I saw. Of course, not everyone in Haiti can afford a car. If you can't afford a car, then you have two other options: toptop's or motorcycles.

Toptop's are trucks that are highly decorated, often with English words but they don't always make sense. The pictures that are painted all over the vehicles often look like they used movie posters to get their ideas. Now, there two basic kinds of toptops: those overheated on the side of the road with an optional flat tire and those with 57 people packed in. It’s amazing how many people manage to cram into those things... think college kids in a phone booth. If you’re hanging off the back or the side of a toptop it is called “riding express”.

The other options for getting around are lightweight, little motorcycles with extra spots for feet on the back. Often, two or three people IN ADDITION to the driver manage to fit themselves on a motorcycle. These little motorcycles are often used to carry freight as well. You wouldn't believe me if I told you what I saw, so I’m not even going to bother going into detail on it. My last day in Haiti I rode one to the airport. I don't think we ever topped 25 mph, but then again I never saw one with more then a 125cc engine. In contrast, the bike that I own is not a big bike by American standards, but it has 750cc engine. While driving around I saw a few bikes that didn't have brakes. Please understand that I’m not saying that the bikes didn’t have bad brakes. I’m saying they didn’t even have a brake handle or a brake line. On a side note, the guy dropped me off at the airport next to a completely naked man. It was not the first naked man walking the streets I had seen on the trip, but then again the first one had on a pair of very worn out chaps, so maybe he didn't count.

Haiti and Food: The easy joke here would be to say nothing and talk about something else.

While there I saw tons and tons of food... all sitting at the airport in neat little rows. The people, however, had very little food. Rice and beans are common. If they can, they add a bit of meat or vegetables to the rice. The little bit that I ate was tasty. Like I mentioned before, I ate very little while there, because it felt like I was eating food that should go to someone more needy then myself.

TMI warning: After about a week I was surprised that my shorts didn't have more room around the waist. Once I thought about it, I realized that between barely eating and having a hard time staying hydrated I had hardly passed anything. Now that I am home and the pipes are starting to work, I am getting thinner everyday. This morning I held out my jeans and could look down to my knees.

I was told that the high water mark of Haitian food is goat, but I didn't get a chance to try it. Noodles make there way into a number of dishes. It’s not fancy high-end stuff like top ramen but actual noodles. Food is cooked outside over a charcoal fire, using DIY (homemade) charcoal. People buy their food from vendors that sell it out in the street. You can tell how tasty the food is by the number of flies per square inch. More then once, Jose or I would look at what was put before us, nervously and take a small bite, and then realize that it wasn’t bad. Of course, if we made the mistake of thinking about where the food was actually bought then it changed the taste.

Corruption: I now understand why Haiti's national pasttime is to have another political coup. Haiti's main crop isn’t beans, or sweet potatoes, or even coffee. It’s corruption. Each year, the little island nation produces over 42 million bushels worth of corrupt politicians. Our first warning was from an American coming out. He told us that the border guards will tell us we need to pay different fees to get in that we don't actually have to pay, and that we should demand to talk with their superior as to why we have to pay to come help their fellow Haitian. It was clear that the guy telling us couldn't wrap his head around the idea of people who would use a disaster like this to line their own pockets. Everything has a price in Haiti. I asked a national at one point if there was anything in Haiti that was not for sale. He laughed, but shook his head. If you hear stories of Americans having trouble working through the required paperwork to get an adopted child out of Haiti, the rest of the story is that the paperwork is actually finished and that the official is just waiting for them to offer a bribe. The adoption office is one of the most desired spots to work in Haiti because there is so much money to be made.

If you look at a map of Haiti you will notice some big lakes. For decades, there have been projects in the works to setup hydro electric plants. The Dominicann Republic gets much of it's power that way. The problem is, after the taxes come in or the next loan from the world bank clears...the money just disappears. This has happened a number of times, and locals joke about the idea of anything ever happening. Within the culture the idea seems to be fairly straightforward: if you ever get your chance at power, grab all that you can for you. One of the ways we saw this in action was at the camp near Leogane. A little tarp city (using the term “tent city” gives the idea that aid isactually getting out of the airport) had been setup. We arrived one evening, spent the night, and saw a lot of people the next day before going back to Port Au Prince. An aid group had made its way through the tarp city and set up some clean water. They also found a local man with a bit of English and an education. They gave him some money to get supplies (basic things like beans and rice) for the people in the camp. When they came back to check on him, he and all of his extended family were living in very nice makeshift shelters, way off away from the rest of the camp. He had purchased some batteries and a solar charger for himself, and they were eating like kings. He had even managed to find some ice and had cold drinks. The rest of the people were still living under tarps and had yet to receive any aid.

It's hard for Americans of any class to be able to comprehend actions like this. Who would steal from starving people? Unfortunately, this is all the people have ever known. They are like the abused wife that continues to stay with the husband that keeps on beating her. Not only was that guy abusing the money and power he was given, he actually had the gall to ask for more money when the aid group came back to check on things. My guess is that he thought, “I’m sure the American aid workers are lining their own pockets. Naturally they’ll understand me lining my own a bit before anything goes out.” After awhile, I began to believe that Haitians all have a shake-down gene. On a side note, Haitians seem to be well-suited to work at the UN. It was very hard for Jose and I who had taken off work, bought our own tickets, and were working LONG hours in poor conditions with little food in order to help a child and then have the parent ask us to give them our shoes or something else that we had with us. When we said no, they would move on to the next item that they wanted of ours.. The language issues didn't help the matter much either. Even if they didn’t intend it to come out like that, the words we heard were, “You give me money, now.” Again, they would ask this of us after we just finished helping them or their child. Please understand that this was not every person we dealt with. Still, it doesn't take to many when you’re tired to start to get hot under the collar. If I had gotten a bit of sleep, maybe it would have been easier for me to be understanding.

Many of the people are under the impression that all Americans are millionaires and that we don't actually work. They were often shocked to learn how many hours my wife and I worked every week, and some flat out refused to believe me. Maybe it was hard for them to understand because of the way their own work hours are set up. During the summer it will often be 100 to 115 every day, so they don't work a straight 8 hour day even if they have a job. In their mind, a few hours in the morning and maybe a few hours in the evening is really working hard. Of course, the going rate is only $5 a day. If I were king of the world, I would hire crews of Haitians to go from block to block, and pay them at the end of the day for breaking and removing the piles of concrete. That way, the country would be helped by removing the destroyed home, and the people will be employed and given money so that they can do their own repairs.

One of the people I ran across was a reporter for a local radio station. He was trying to arrange something were I would be interviewed and take about construction techniques that were better for earthquakes. The minister of communications for Haiti got involved, and then next thing you know he wanted me to pay for the interpreter as well as the air time. Nothing ever came of it. I just couldn't bring myself to give anything to a politician who has made money by stealing from the people, just so I would be allowed to help the people. Again, not every Haitian was this way, but it was very common. The Christians we met really stood out, simply because they were some of the only people not looking for ways to uses this tragedy to line their pockets. I have a deep and very realistic fear that a lot of the aid money will be handed off to the locals to be used to do good... and then it will just disappear.

Safety: The news shows nothing but the bad stuff. I was scared going in because I made the mistake of believing what the news had shown me.While I am sure the press gets it right sometime, every time I have been involved with something and then get a chance to see the way the media tells the story, they get it wrong in some way or another. Every. Single. Time. I even have articles that were written about me. They interviewed me, I gave them easy, straightforward answers, and then they still got parts wrong. So here’s the real question: Can you find trouble in Haiti? Well, sure. Can I find trouble in South central in California? Well, sure. While I was there, I did a lot of talking to quite a few people so that I could learn all that I could about this subject before coming back home. Here is the bottom line: If the sun is up, Haiti is full of nice people. If the sun is down, then you need to be careful, because there are places you do not want to be.

It is very common for families to have lived in the same neighborhood for many generations. In fact, it is not uncommon for people to live within 200 yards of most of their relatives. This helps keep locals from committing crime on other locals. Everyone in the area knows each other, so they wouldn't want to steal from a brother or a friend. If they are hungry, however, it is far too common for a person to walk for miles, and then look for a spot to break in. The Haitian saying is that “When it gets dark, the wolves come out.” This is why people lock themselves in behind bars, and why there were times Jose and I needed to be out of an area before it got dark. My advice to you is that if you’re going to Haiti and are planning on living with people, find out if there is a pastor close by and if the people know him. Pastors often are respected, and if you’re in with the local pastor it offers you a lot of protection. The next best thing is to get to know the momma-boss. The momma-boss is the matriarch of the neighborhood. She always has enough food-- if you don't have anything, you can go ask her and she will find away to get you food. Because so many of the people have been in that place at one point or another, they feel like they owe her. If you are with the momma-boss, you are in one of the safest places in Haiti.